Which Parenting Styles Are You?

In our respective roles as counselors of children and parents in private practice, we found that parents’ parenting style greatly contributes to the well-being, resilience and overall behavior of their children.

It has been shown that a parenting style that provides love and support, as well as discipline and structure, is a reliable indicator for raising happy and safe children.

In addition, we found that parents ‘approach to discipline, warmth and education, communication, control over children, and parents’ expectations of maturity are contributing factors to this evolution. the behavior and functioning of their children.

In a series of studies conducted in the 1960s, clinical developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind identified the four fundamental components of parental behavior: responsiveness, lack of response, requirement and non-requirement, which combined to create the three main parenting styles.

Maccoby and Martin then identified a fourth parenting style, characterized by careless or uninvolved parenting behavior.

In our private practice, we often see parents using these four primary parenting styles. We ask you to ask yourself, “What kind of parents are you?”


The authoritative father imposes many rules and expects the child to obey without question. Misconduct is not allowed and penalties are often used to enforce the rules and manage the child’s behavior.

The authoritative parent has high expectations and requires the child to uphold high standards. The authoritative father introduces the components of low heat and high control parental behavior.

A child raised by an authoritative parent may appear to behave very well, but this may not be the case, as studies have shown that children raised by authoritarian parents are less likely to admit to transgressions and misconduct. before the figures of authority.

Our Child Advisor has repeatedly found that children raised by authoritarian parents have more difficulty feeling socially accepted by their peers, have fewer resources, have less self-esteem and are less empowered.

Therefore, it can be assumed that even if the child seems to have good surface behavior, he may have problems on a deeper emotional level.


The permissive father makes very few requests to the child, imposes few rules and allows him to control his own activities. Compliance with externally defined norms of behavior is not mandatory and the expectations of a child raised by a tolerant parent are low.

The permissive parenting style is non-punitive and highly accepted; The child is often treated as an equal. Care and heat components, combined with poor control, are consistent with parental behavior.

It is likely that a child raised by a caring parent has been born and is generally irresponsible and undisciplined.

Our childhood counselor found that children with inhibited behavior, raised by tolerant parents, were also more likely to develop depression and anxiety.


The authoritarian father has clear expectations of behavior and behavior. The child’s activities are conducted in a logical and reasonable manner, allowing verbal exchange and reasonable discussion.

When necessary, the authoritative parent exercises firm control, but this requires sound communication, not rigid and disciplined. The father encourages the autonomy of the child and recognizes his own interests.

The authoritarian parenting style is rational and affirmative and combines the elements of parental behavior control with warmth and responsiveness.

We found that a child raised by authorized parents will likely be well suited. We can assume that he is doing well in school, that he is autonomous and responsible and that he has a friendly and open attitude. This is the ideal breeding style because it is well balanced.


The careless or uninvolved parent responds to the physical demands of the child but is otherwise disconnected, disconnected, and emotionally distant. The disinterested and careless father imposes few demands on the child and shows very little warmth and responsiveness.

A child raised by a careless parent generally seems worse than children raised by parents with the other three parenting styles. Normally, children raised by this type of parent have poor results in almost every aspect of life.

Interestingly, most delinquent minors were raised by uninvolved or negligent parents. In addition, a child raised by a careless parent is likely to have low cognitive, social and emotional skills and will have difficulty creating healthy relationships later in life.

Counselors of both parents and children in our private practice have found that parents’ responsiveness and the demands of parents are essential factors in good parenting.

For most children, clear and appropriate demands and expectations balanced by a warm emotional response and awareness of self-reliance are considered reliable predictors of well-being, achievement, competence resilience and self-sufficiency.

Warm emotional responsiveness coupled with clear, age-appropriate expectations help to form a balanced platform for successful child education.

For these reasons, authoritarian parenting provides the leadership and guiding principles that children need.

When parents provide achievable benchmarks with support, equitable consequences for inappropriate behavior, and instructional guidance with clear expectations, children thrive and are more likely to internalize the behaviors parents want.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here